Wednesday, May 4, 2011
My last post was about crucifixion moments, which are opportunities for transformation. I am seeing those opportunities at every turn these days. I am wrestling with so many things in my mind and spirit. I have so many things that I just don’t want to give up and yet God is calling me to a level of surrender that I’ve not previously known.
These things I need to surrender are not all heinous sins, but they are things that vie for God’s position in my life. I just read in my Bible study this morning, “Being ruled by something other than God diminishes our commitment and will make us feel increasingly distant from Him. Being ruled by anything other than God is something God takes quite seriously. And so should I.” –Lysa Terkheurst
These things that I need to surrender are things that my flesh feels like it needs. And my flesh is not relinquishing them quietly or easily. There is something in me that needs to die, and it’s not dying without a fight—a painful, bloody fight. Not physical blood of course, but there is a tearing, scratching, clawing going on in my soul as I battle to kick some things out of my life that aren’t going to leave nicely.
Right now, I have a couple of opportunities for transformation, and I do not want those opportunities to pass me by! As Lysa Terkheurst says, “I don’t want to wander about in a desert, unable to enter into the abundant life God has for me because I willfully put Him to the test over food!” Or any other issues in my life.
Sometimes, what comes to mind is, “Haven’t I surrendered enough? I’ve dealt with so many hard things as a mom, as a wife, as a daughter and a sister. How much more do I need to surrender?" And I hear God say, “Everything… your pride, your rights, your vices of escape and distraction… everything.”
[Heavy sigh.] And I know He’s right. He is offering me several opportunities for transformation into His image and I would be a fool to let them pass me by. So, as I start my day, I press into My Unswerving Hope and say, I will continue to the fight, transform away!