The Invisible Woman

Last Sunday, a friend of mine came up to me in the lobby at church and shared some feelings of frustrations. She later apologized for "dumping on me." Oh, my goodness! That's what we're here for. I applaud my friend for not putting on her "I'm fine, how are you!" face and for sharing what was really happening in her head, instead of what she thought I wanted to hear.

So now, that's what I'm about to do to you because today I'm feeling like the Invisible Woman.

I feel like nothing I say is valued. Nothing that's important to me seems to be important to anyone else. I can't seem to get it all done fast enough or good enough or completely enough to please anyone, and no one seems to care that I'm trying as hard as I can. Does anything I do really matter?

It feels like it doesn't matter enough to my husband that I actually cooked a meal last night, he didn't come in until long after supper time. It doesn't seem to matter to my coworkers that there are reasons for deadlines, they blow right through them. A meeting I was preparing for today didn't happen, my coworker was too busy. And nothing matters to a 2-year-old except that she gets what she wants and she gets it right now, which is not always possible.

I am feeling really pitiful today, it may be that I'm tired, that I haven't allowed God to fill me, that my hormones are confused, or that I am going through a huge transition in my life and am feeling overwhelmed. Hopefully it's not the latter, because I'm beginning to believe that life is just one transition after another with very short breaks in between. You'd think by now that I'd be better at handling transitions. Someday, maybe I'll get it. For today, I'll just keep holding on to my unswerving hope.

Thanks for allowing me to "dump on you!"