There are so many things that happen in life that cause us
to ask, “Why?” Sometimes, at the top of our lungs we want to scream, “Why?” We
want to shake our fist at God and say, “Why me?” “Why now?” “Why her?” “Why
this again?!”
I have a friend who has cancer. She’s not asking, “Why?” She’s
asking, “Why not?” We live on planet earth. This is our temporary home. We won’t
be perfect and whole until heaven. There’s no reason to think that some of us
won’t get cancer. I love her response early on when she first received her
diagnosis. When people tried to treat her like she was knocking on death’s
door, I remember her saying, “I’m not dying, I’m living!” She has not slowed
down enough to ask, “Why.” She is busy doing ministry and caring for other people.
She knows there may come a time when she will have to slow down physically, but
as long as she has the strength and energy, she intends to allow God to use her
to do whatever He’s calling her to do.
Lysa TerKeurst, in her book, Becoming More Than a Good Bible
Study Girl, says, “Asking why isn’t unspiritual. However, if asking this question
pushes us farther from God rather than drawing us closer to Him, it is the
wrong question.”
We’ve all had life situations when we were tempted to ask, “Why?”
- Why did our son get mixed up in drugs?
- Why have relationships between family members
gotten so strained?
- Why does life have to be so hard?
- Why is there so much grief in the world?
- Why must people suffer?
- Why must children go hungry?
The list could go on and on. The problem with asking, “Why?”
is, it causes me to get stuck in an endless loop and wallow in my grief and
guilt. I begin to ask questions like,
- Why did I let my daughter get into a car with a
16-year-old driver?
- Why didn’t God intervene as he does with so many
others who miraculously survive car accidents?
- Why wasn’t I a better mom to my son?
- Why didn’t I see that he was sliding down a
slippery slope?
- Why didn’t I do more to protect my kids?
- Why hasn’t God “shown up” for my son?
Just typing those words makes my blood pressure rise. But asking
those questions gets me nowhere. It does no one any good. It doesn’t bring my
daughter back and it doesn’t help my son with his addictions. I can’t do
anything to change the past, I can only change my future.
Lysa TerKeurst says the more appropriate question is, “What?”
I remember when we lost our daughter in a car accident, I didn’t care why. It
didn’t matter why. Knowing why wouldn’t bring her back, so who cares? I did,
however, need to know what. What do I do with this? What do You want me to do,
Lord? What next? I had planned to focus on her for the next three years. I
wanted to help her make the transition to our new community and get through
high school. I knew after that, it was likely that I would have a lot less time
to spend with her. I thought I had three years. But I didn’t. So, now that the
whole focal point of my life was gone, what was I supposed to do?
I’ve been seeking the answer to that question for seven
years now, and somehow, I think I’ll be on this quest as long as I live on
planet earth. As long as I’m growing, learning and changing, the answer to the “What
next?” question changes as well. We’ve had several other major transitions in
life since our daughter was killed, and with those situations, I’ve been more
tempted to ask, “Why?” But God continues to remind me to ask, “What?” instead.
So today, in what situations are You asking God, “Why?” How
would asking, “What?” change how you approach that situation? Once you begin to
ask God, “What?” better buckle up and hold on tight! You may be in for the ride
of your life!
