"Hi Mama!"

I don't remember the last time I heard my daughter say, "Hi Mama!" But I do remember that every time I heard it, my heart smiled. I remember hearing the young women I worked with say those words to their moms on the phone and I always hoped my daughter would do the same when she was grown. But it was not to be. She will be forever 15--that's when her earthly life ended and her heavenly life began.

I thought I would never hear those words again in this life. But God has such an amazing plan of redemption that filters down through every area of our lives according to His providence.

These days I get to hear the words, "Hi Mama!" all the time. Oh there's something about those words that does a mother's heart good. Each time I hear them, I'm reminded what an amazing privilege I have in raising a second little girl. I am reminded that I do not deserve this privilege. But God gives it anyway. That's how He works. He gives us what we don't deserve--that's grace--and it is my unswerving hope!

My Grace is Sufficient For You

We so often don’t understand why we must endure difficult times in life. Sometimes, it just seems that we can’t catch a break!

There have been times when I’ve felt like life continues to kick me or my friends when we're down, and I have gotten angry with God for allowing it. But I believe that God weeps when we weep, He hurts when we hurt. He hates that we have to go through tough stuff, but He’s willing to allow it because He sees the end result. He wants to do so much more for us than make us comfortable. His purposes are so much deeper than a life of ease could bring about. He loves me too much to allow me to wallow in comfort.

But the end result also depends on how I react to the trials in life.  Sarah Young, in Jesus Calling says,  “Human weakness, consecrated to Me (Jesus), is like a magnet, drawing My Power into your neediness.” I can continue in my anger at God, or I can consecrate my weakness to Him--I can declare it sacred, set it apart, see the beauty in it and turn it over to God. If I do the latter, it will be like a magnet, drawing His Power into my neediness. When that happens, I experience a supernatural event... a spiritual transformation that cannot happen any other way.

That is my unswerving hope. And it lies, not in God fixing all my problems, but in God walking with me through my neediness.

“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. “ –2 Corinthians  12:9

The Inescapable Love of Jesus!

Early this morning, I had one of the most beautiful experiences of my life. I had gotten up early because my husband and I wanted to go and vote together before work. As I finished drying my hair, I heard a funny little noise coming from our bedroom. I knew my husband was still sleeping, so I wasn’t sure what it could be. I opened the bathroom door to hear a froggy, sleepy little voice coming from the baby monitor. Our precious little one was singing…

Jesus loves me, this I know

For the Bible tells me so

Little ones to Him belong

They are weak but He is strong!

Yes, Jesus loves me!

Yes, Jesus loves me.

Yes, Jesus loves me!

The Bible tells me so.

Jesus loves me, this I know,

As He loved so long ago.

Taking children on His knee,

Saying, “Let them come to Me.”

Yes, Jesus loves me!

Yes, Jesus loves me.

Yes, Jesus loves me!

The Bible tells me so.

Yes, she even included the second verse! As I reflected on that song today, I remembered a night about 20 years ago. I had been having one of those mom days when I was feeling so unworthy, so unlovable. As I rocked my baby, I began singing Jesus Loves Me to her. All I was trying to do was get her to go to sleep so I could have some peace and quiet of my own, but before I realized it, I had tears rolling down my face. I was so blown away by the love of Jesus. I had done nothing to earn or deserve it. In fact, I was probably trying to push Him away. But He wouldn’t hear of it. He loved me, and let me know it in no uncertain terms that night.

I haven’t been able to stop smiling all day as I recall that little croaking voice declaring the love of Jesus this morning before she uttered a single word to anyone else. How privileged are we!

Lavishing Grace, Not Judgement

As I sat down to write in my journal this morning, I knew it was going to be a whining entry about how hard I work when "everyone" else seems to be fighting against me and "no one" else seems to care. I wanted to get in touch with my inner feelings.

But I decided to look back at my devotional first. My eyes were drawn to a few lines I had underlined several days ago, "No sin is worse than the sin of self pity, because it obliterates God and puts self-interest upon the throne. It opens our mouths to spit out murmurings and our lives become craving spiritual sponges, there is nothing lovely or generous about them."

I tweeted the first half of that quote and said, "Ouch, Oswald, you're killing me!" Obviously, something in me needs to be killed. Yes, I need to be in touch with what I'm feeling, but there is a fine line that, once crossed, leads to a pit of self-pity and judgement of others. I don't want my mouth to be spitting out murmurings or my life to become a craving spiritual sponge that has nothing lovely or generous about it.

Last weekend, as I was thinking and, yes, saying (perhaps spitting) some unflattering and judgemental things about a Christian brother, I suddenly got a vision of Satan and his demons laughing and cheering because what I was doing was so pleasing to them. Dear Lord! I was mortified! I pray that every time I open my mouth I will remember that picture and re-order my words accordingly. For a child of God to please the enemy and his legions by speaking against another child of God must pierce the heart of God. I don't know which is worse, picturing the enemy cheering or seeing the disappointment on God's face as the defamatory words come spewing out of my mouth.

So today, I will not write a journal entry filled with self-pity or derogatory comments aimed at someone else to try and feel better about myself. Today I want to focus on the beauty and wealth of the grace that God has lavished on me so that I will learn to lavish that grace on others. I want to be, as Oswald Chambers says, "stamped with God's nature," so that, "His blessings will come through [me] all the time."

In My Weakness His Strength is Made Known

I have a circumstance in my life that I wish was different. I have had it for years. I wish it would go away, but it won’t. It’s a circumstance over which I have no control. I’ve tried to ignore it, hoping it would go away. I’ve even tried to run away from it. But both of those options only made it worse. So I set boundaries around it, yet it remains.

I’ve prayed many, many times for this circumstance to be lifted. I’ve wept bitter tears over it. I used to be so sure that God would remove it and I waited for that because I just knew that God didn’t want me to suffer like this. I prayed Psalm 6 over it. “How long, O Lord, how long,” I asked. Yet the circumstance remained.

Finally, I started attending a Kay Arthur Bible Study, and what she said stunned me. In one of her videos, she said something like, “What if your circumstances never get any better? What if things never change?” I had never even considered that possibility!

At first I didn't like what she said. I didn't want to consider the possibility that my burden might never be lifted. But eventually Kay's teaching became a turning point in my faith walk--a milestone. Because she went on to say, “God’s grace is enough for you, not only in eternity, but also in the here and now.” Wow, I always knew God’s grace was enough to save me from my sins so that I could go to heaven. But I never considered that I could trust His grace for life on this earth (or even need to.) I guess I expected God to make life on earth easy, and never thought about needing His grace now.

Oh, I’ve come a long way since those days of expecting God to make life easy. He loves me too much to allow me to be lazy. He loves me too much to let me live without needing his grace. He loves me too much to let me wallow in my weakness. Instead, he uses my weakness to make his strength known.

Because of that one Bible study lesson, I quit waiting for my circumstances to change and finally began living. I stepped out in faith, standing on 2 Corinthians 12:9, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” I knew how weak I was, but I also knew I needed to quit using that as an excuse.

So, my circumstance remains. I wish I could say that I never let it bother me anymore, but I can’t. I continue to struggle with it. I continue to lay it on the altar, only to find that days, weeks, or even years later, I’ve picked it up again. But every time I realize that I’m carrying it again, I run to the altar, lay it down again, and with every bit of determination I can muster, I say, “I trust You, Lord, I trust You.”

What’s your circumstance? Is it a wayward child? Is it physical pain? Is it an addiction? Is it grief? What do you need to lay on the altar? I encourage you to do it today. Quit asking and waiting for God to remove it. Lay it down and with every bit of determination you can muster, say “I trust You, Lord, I trust You. Your grace is sufficient for me. Not only for eternity, but also for today.”

The Journey of a Lifetime

Today my husband and I will embark on a journey that will change our lives forever. It's the answer to our most fervent prayers, and yet my knees are knocking, my heart is pounding and my stomach is churning. Am I worthy of this thing that God is entrusting to me? Am I well enough spiritually, emotionally, financially, physically for this new life? I keep asking God those questions and all I can hear is, "Do you trust Me?"

"Yes, Lord, I trust You, but..." I also see how flawed we are. I see our imperfections so clearly and we seem so powerless to fix them.

As I read the introduction to my devotional reading this morning, I was reminded of how often you have used flawed people to do some of your most amazing, world-changing things. My reading today was about Samuel appointing Saul as King of Israel. Talk about flawed. That guy had some major character flaws, and yet You used him. I think of others...
Abraham - Lied about Sarah being his wife
Isaac - Played favorites with his children
Jacob - A conniver
Joseph - A show-off and bragger
Moses - Insecure stutterer
Rahab - A prostitute
Samson - A womanizer, selfish, spoiled brat
David - A lustful adulterer, murderer and lier. Yet God still called him a man after His own heart.
Peter - A burly, mouthy sailor.
Judas - A greedy, slimy traitor. Yet he was necessary in God's plan for our redemption.
Paul - Religious, persecutor of Christ's followers

I'm sure the list could go on and on. God used most of these people in the midst of their imperfections. He didn't clean them up and make them worthy before He used them.

So Lord, can you use me in the midst of my imperfections to do the most important, world-changing, risky job in the world? A job that involves many unknowns? One that we're never really trained for or ready for? One where we have less control over the outcome than we realize? One that drives us to our knees before you with great fear and trembling? One where you entrust to us the thing more valuable to you than heaven and earth--a precious little human soul.

This is an area where we don't have a great track record. One in which we have felt like complete failures. One that we prayed you would give to someone else. And yet, here we are, preparing to do this most impossible job. Only by Your grace, Lord, only by Your grace.