Really, Prayer Changes Things

I drove by a church sign this morning that said, "Prayer changes things." My immediate, cynical response was, "Really?" Then I heard, "Yes, it changes you." So true.

Now, as I write this in my journal, I realize how ungrateful my cynical side is--how blasphemous--how sinful. Lord, please forgive me.

The Lord has been so gracious to me. No, things have not turned out exactly like I had planned, but I am so blessed--not just materially, though I am incredibly blessed materially--not just relationally, though I am amazingly blessed with family and friends--not just physically, though I am very healthy--not just in my marriage, though I have a wonderful marriage to a strong, loving, kind man, in whom I've seen amazing transformation in the 35 years we've been married. I am amazingly blessed, and yet I am so ungrateful that my first response was, "really, prayer changes things?'

I am blessed beyond belief because Jesus loves me! Enough to give His life for me--and He was thankful for that privilege. If that was the only blessing I ever received, it would be more than enough!

So we have any clue how huge this is?! Do we have any idea whatsoever about what Christ has done for us?

We are blessed beyond belief, yet we continue walking around feeling discouraged, dejected, disheartened and depressed. How dare we! How dare I act like Jesus has not blessed me or heart my prayers! How dare I forget that He has wept with me when I wept--ached with me when I ached! How dare I forget that He has walked with me--carried me through some of the darkest, scariest days of my life?! How dare I throw that back in His face and say, "Really? Prayer changes things?"

Yes, really, prayer changes things. It changes me. It changes you.

Today I choose to be grateful. I choose to practice gratitude. I choose to fight agains the cynical ingrate in me who questions God's faithfulness to me. It is a choice and I'm making it mine today.

Project 365 Woes

So it's only January and I almost gave up already! Sad, huh?

But I'm back. And I decided to combine a couple of projects that I hope to complete in 2015.

I've been reading Ann Voskamp's "1,000 Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are." Keeping a list of 1,000 things she was thankful for, from sheets flapping in the wind to suds in the sink to her husband and family, changed her life. It brought her out of her self absorption and into a life of gratefulness and being truly present in every moment. I need some of that!

The other day I sent my daughter to school with an empty lunchbox. Now that is a woman who is too distracted. We had talked about the lunch menu and the fact that she wanted to bring her own lunch instead of eating what the cafeteria was serving. That is where my memory ends. Did we never take her lunchbox out of her book bag from the day before? Did I actually put it in there empty? How could I not notice its weightlessness?

Because my mind is constantly racing to the next thing on our schedule, or to-do list, I often zoom through life and miss what's going on right in front of me. I believe that's what happened that day. I had a very busy weekend coming up, with some technical issues I needed to find answers for. I'm sure my mind was consumed with those things rather than being free to focus on my daughter and her need for a tasty, nutritious lunch!

We have laughed about my absent-minded mistake, and it is pretty funny, but it also disturbs me. I need to "live fully right where I am," not an hour ahead or behind.

So, after almost giving up on my Project 365, I'm picking up my camera again, and I'm looking for all the things I'm grateful for!