Continuing the Dream

My life was greatly impacted, not just by my trip to the Dream Center, but also in the weeks and months leading up to and since the trip. I have seen how self-centered, self-indulgent and complacent I am. Like I’ve said before, I am very comfortable in my bubble, and it was hard to step out. But out I am, and I want to keep moving farther and farther from that bubble. I know that if I don’t intentionally keep moving away from it, I will one day find myself right back in it.

It is for all those reasons that I’m writing this post. A young lady from our church is raising money to get to the Dream Center and serve in their Leadership Program this fall. That is something I would definitely have done if I were 18 again! I gave a little money to help, but felt like I wanted to do more. So I was asking the Lord how I could help her raise money for her trip. Within a day of my prayer, she posted a picture of some jars that she has made to collect spare change to go toward her trip. I instantly knew I needed one. But I want to put more than my spare change in it!

I live in a very comfortable house in a nice neighborhood. I work in a small town and spend my lunch hours and coffee breaks in meetings or social gatherings with my friends and coworkers. Recently, some health issues have arisen in myself and some friends of mine that could likely be controlled by a healthier diet and exercise. I’ve been thinking that I need to pack a healthy lunch more often and cut down on eating out.

When I saw Haley’s picture of her jars, a light bulb went off in my head! I can cut down on my lunches out and put that money in the jar for her. AND I can challenge my coworkers to do the same. But that’s still not enough. I want to challenge everyone who is connected with my church in any way to give up at least one lunch out a week and put the money they would have spent into the jar for Haley’s trip to the Dream Center!

So, will you join me? Will you continue my dream of sending women from our rural and small town neighborhoods to experience God on a new level? Let’s move out of our comfortable bubbles and share that experience with Haley. The jar will be on my desk at the church office. Please stop in a drop off your donation. We might even enjoy a brown bag lunch together while your there!Who knows, we may even lose a few pounds and get a little healthier in the process?!

Dream Center Update

Oh, MyUnswervingHope.blogspot, how I’ve missed you! I have allowed life, ministry and busy-ness to come between us. I really hate being this busy… there are just so many great things to do. I need to work on a new life plan that includes more journaling--it is such therapy for me.

I need to catch you up on my trip to the Dream Center. As expected, it was life-changing. I’m still trying figure out what to do with it, but it’s never on the back burner, it’s always in my consciousness, drawing me back from my materialistic, Polly-Anna lifestyle. It’s so easy to stay in the ruts of narcissism, twice removed from people who make me feel uncomfortable. I get lots of encouragement from others to stay in that rut. It’s hard for people who have been there so long to understand why anyone would want to leave.

But there are others, who are less attached to their place of complacency, who inspire me and give me the courage I need to move out of mine. Our trip to the Dream Center consisted of nine people, five women and four men. The other four women who went on the trip changed my life. They were just doing what their hearts led them to do. They made it look so easy. Their purpose was not to encourage me, they were following the leading of the Holy Spirit. I wish I could be more like them.

I have a tendency to ignore things I don’t like, hoping they’ll go away. I’m the proverbial ostrich with her head in the sand. I’m thankful for friends who gently, and sometimes not so gently encourage me to pull my head out. God used these ladies to yank me out of the fetal position and show me how to serve and love when I’d rather just do the task and keep my heart out of the equation.

The first day we went out with the food truck ministry, I was totally content to hand out groceries with pats on shoulders and lots of “God bless yous.”  Janie encouraged  me to join the prayer group at the end of the line and pray with the people after they got their groceries. “No,” I told her, “I’m fine.” I used the excuse that she and the others are better pray-ers than I am and that I’ll just keep doing the task—the bare minimum. That night the Lord convicted me. “You don’t want to get emotionally involved,” He seemed to say to me. “It’s not about how well anyone prays… in fact, it’s not about you at all. It’s about Me and the people I love. You are too protective of your heart and it’s time to step it up a notch!”

Then I saw Pam fearlessly walk up to a dirty, weather-worn homeless man, who hadn’t seen a shower in months, if not years. I had seen the man, sitting on a step, and I walked right by. This was our night out. This was a night for us to be tourists and see Hollywood Boulevard. But I felt God prick my heart when I saw Pam lay her hand on his shoulder and speak to him so kindly and gently. I knew I needed to step it up. I was still slacking.

I watched Teri in her calm and quiet way, as she poured into the young men and women we encountered at the Dream Center. I knew that Teri is the kind of person who would just as soon spend the day alone, puttering around her house, cooking something marvelous or planting something beautiful in her garden. But she chose, instead, to be obedient. And she wasn’t just going through the motions so she could say that she fulfilled her commitment to God. She poured her heart into Joe and Susie and Mack (fictitious name) and many others.

I learned how much Krista and I are alike. Loud, chatty, animated. But Krista knew why she was there. At the end of our trip, I felt relieved that my commitment to God had been fulfilled, and that I’d soon be going back home to my comfortable bubble, with no intention of returning to the Dream Center. But not Krista. Before we even left she said, without hesitation, that she’d be going back.

And then there’s Janie, who shares half a brain with me. We are so much alike and yet so different. Over the years, she has stretched me in directions I so didn’t want to go. Janie was Janie on our trip. What you see her doing in the lobby of our church, you see her doing in the middle of Skid Row and Venice Beach. Against all odds, in the midst of all kinds of suffering, Janie loves. And Janie inspires me to love.

What Are You Afraid Of?

What Are You Afraid Of?

I am not afraid of a lot of things…

I’m not afraid to change my hair color, and I do quite frequently.

I’m not afraid to wear red boots or carry a pink purse.

I’m not afraid to fly.

I’m not afraid to walk into a room full of people I don’t know.

I’m not usually afraid to try new things, and I love to learn new things!

I’m not afraid to drive in snow and ice (good thing since we’ve had plenty this year!)

I’m not even afraid to drive in California!

What I am afraid of is pain… physical, emotional, or any other kind of pain. I’m afraid of hurting and I’m afraid of being hurt. Unfortunately, I’ve done plenty of both.

From my fear of pain, come lots of little fears…

I’m afraid of confrontation.

I’m afraid of saying no.

I’m afraid of facing painful realities—I have a thick wall of protection around my heart.

I’m afraid of failing.

I’m afraid of disappointing others.

I’m afraid of facing painful realities—did I say that already? Yes I did, because it’s probably my biggest fear. I have said that I’m the Queen of Denial because I have so often stuck my head in the sand and denied reality. You would think I would have learned by now that all that does is create more pain, prolong the pain, intensify the pain.

So, in a few weeks, I am going to step up to my fear, take it by the horns, and with God’s help move just a little beyond it. This good little Polly Anna, Bible Study Girl is going on a mission trip. As I said, I’m not afraid to fly there, I’m not afraid to drive there. I’m not even feeling any fear of gangs or violence. What I fear the most is looking into the face of a homeless man and truly trying to understand him… truly loving him… truly accepting him… and sincerely and honestly praying for him. Even though I may see the eyes and feel the pain of someone I deeply love as I look at him, I will not shrink back. I will do it. With God’s help, I will do it.

So, what are you afraid of?

Getting Out My Bubble

About two years ago, I came across a book by Matthew Barnette called “The Cause Within You.” When we lived in AZ years ago, I had heard about a project he was working on in LA, so it caught my attention. I got the book and began to read it on an airplane as I traveled back to AZ to take care of some difficult family business.

In his book, Barnette tells the story of his dream to build a mega church in LA similar to his Dad’s church in Phoenix. He was just 20 years old. But God had a different plan. As his dream crashed down around him, God gave Barnette a new vision--a vision to make a difference in the run down, crime ridden inner city neighborhoods of LA. Barnette’s ministry, and the Dream Center was born. Barnette purchased a huge abandoned hospital and began to renovate it. Now, 18 years later, the renovations are almost complete, and the ministry is thriving.

The Dream Center is a volunteer driven organization that finds and fills the needs of over 50,000 individuals and families each month. (That’s the population of the whole county where I live!) They do this through mobile hunger relief and medical programs, residential drug and alcohol rehabilitation programs for teens and adults, a shelter for victims of human trafficking, transitional housing for homeless families, foster care intervention programs, job skills training, life skills counseling, basic education, Bible studies and more. They work to meet people where they are, to bring them hope and a way off the streets.

They’re also equipping others to serve. The Dream offers short-term mission trips to folks who want to see their operation up close. As they volunteer at the Dream Center, they gain insight and skills that they can take back to their own communities.

During my trip to AZ, I continued to read the book every evening after long hard days of appointments, waiting in lines, watching hopeless people going through the motions of basic survival, and I realized I live in a bubble… a very comfortable, bubble. I’ve never been hungry a day in my life. I’ve never had to wonder how I would keep a roof over my children’s heads.  I’ve never had to worry about keeping my children safe at night. I’ve never even had to ask for help for my family’s daily survival.

Yet I have a family member who seems to have chosen a lifestyle very different from mine, and this causes me daily heartache. When I read this quote in the book, I knew I needed to do something with that pain:

Your pain can become the greatest motivation to embrace your cause. Does your pain crush you, or do you let it mold you and motivate you for positive results? Do you let your suffering overwhelm you and undermine your life, or do you use it as a means for growth?  

I don’t know about you but I truly want to use my pain as a means for growth! And in the days and weeks following that trip to AZ, I finished the book, and felt God tugging at my heart to go to the Dream Center… To take a team of women who live in bubbles too to the Dream Center. But, I am not a big risk taker. I kinda like my bubble. So I sat on that calling. I sat on it for 6 months. I knew I should take it to our mission coordinator, but I knew as soon as I did, I’d have to go—I’d have to get out of my bubble.

Finally, one day, I found myself standing in front of our missions coordinator, and the words came tumbling out of my mouth before I could stop them. And guess what… I’m going to the Dream Center. In fact, I’ve already been there. I visited there last FebruaryI’ve seen a glimpse of what goes on there and it is an amazing operation.

Our church is organizing a mission trip in early April, and I will be on that trip. I’m going to get out of my bubble and serve in the Food Truck mobile food distribution, Adopt-A-Block outreach, Under the Bridge feeding program, Foster Care Intervention, and so much more. In fact, they will try to bring us in to almost every ministry The Dream Center offers – all in just a week’s time. The Dream Center’s Short Term Mission page says, “You Will Work Hard, Pray Loud and Come Home a Different Person.” Am I scared? I am so scared. Will my heart be able to handle it? Will my body be able to keep up. My heart palpitates just thinking about it. But there’s a nagging calling from God that just won't go away. I can't not go. And by the grace of God, I will go.