I recently did an exercise that lead me to get in touch with
my deepest needs. I learned that one of my deepest (if not THE deepest) needs
is security. I think most of my life has been all about playing it safe. I hate
taking risks. I am not a thrill seeker. I have no desire whatsoever to skydive,
mountain climb or even ski any faster than doing a snowplow on the green circle
runs. I even have a tendency of keeping my relationships shallow for fear of
hurting or being hurt. I’ve even told God that I like being shallow, that I
have this deep desire to be safe. And He says, “yeah, that’s nice, but buckle
up cause we’re going for a white knuckle ride!”
Sometimes, I’ve still tried to keep life stress-free and
safe, but that’s nothing but a façade… and denial. It’s really not safe at all.
The only truly safe place to be is wherever God is, and that’s rarely a “safe”
place. Like Aslan in C.S. Lewis’ “The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe,” God is
not safe, but He is good.
So, I need to let go of my desire to be risk-free and find
my security in this risky, unsafe, but good God. He is my unswerving hope!
