I Want to Know God's Heart

I want to know Your heart, God. I have to know Your heart. I want to pray prayers that thrill Your heart. I want to pray prayers that please You… not prayers to bless me… I am already so blessed I can hardly see straight. I’m weary of my superficial prayers, and I sense that You are too. I’m bored with my prayers that must make You yawn as well.

I know there is a different way to pray and I want to find it! I want to find power in prayer. I want my prayers to take me into Your very throne room. You sacrificed Your son just so I could have that privilege, and yet I sit here and pray lazy, shallow prayers that require no faith. They involve no risk. Who would know if they ever got answered or not because they are so vague. Lord, I want to know Your heart!

Lord, the needs are so great. Help me today as I press in close to You… close to Your heart. Help me to pray the prayer that thrills You today.

The Safest Place

Sarah Young, in “Jesus Calling” tells me that my desire to live a risk-free life is a form of unbelief. Ouch!

I recently did an exercise that lead me to get in touch with my deepest needs. I learned that one of my deepest (if not THE deepest) needs is security. I think most of my life has been all about playing it safe. I hate taking risks. I am not a thrill seeker. I have no desire whatsoever to skydive, mountain climb or even ski any faster than doing a snowplow on the green circle runs. I even have a tendency of keeping my relationships shallow for fear of hurting or being hurt. I’ve even told God that I like being shallow, that I have this deep desire to be safe. And He says, “yeah, that’s nice, but buckle up cause we’re going for a white knuckle ride!”

Sometimes, I’ve still tried to keep life stress-free and safe, but that’s nothing but a façade… and denial. It’s really not safe at all. The only truly safe place to be is wherever God is, and that’s rarely a “safe” place. Like Aslan in C.S. Lewis’ “The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe,” God is not safe, but He is good.

So, I need to let go of my desire to be risk-free and find my security in this risky, unsafe, but good God. He is my unswerving hope!