Wrestling with God

"May it be to me as You have said." --Luke 1:38

...the words of Mary when the angel told her that she would become the mother of the Messiah.

I don't pretend to have the faith that Mary had. I never want to compare myself to her. She was instantly ready to face a life that she never imagined--one that she never had planned--one with lots of false accusations and questions. Yet she didn't even hesitate.

When my daughter was killed instantly in a car accident, I wrestled with how I could ever get through it and how God could possibly have allowed it.

Until one day, faith rose up in me and said those words of Mary in my spirit. I was finally able to accept it... that my most precious gift was dead... and the God had allowed it.

I am in no way tooting my own horn. There is nothing good or strong or faithful in me except what Jesus brings. It is a total gift from God to be able to say those words... to accept the things in life that I never would have chosen... the things that I never ever thought I could survive.

Have you faced something that you just cannot accept? Has life dealt you blows that are so far out of your realm of all that is right? Have you lived through--or are you facing--something that is just wrong? Death? Abuse? Abandonment? Addiction? Loss? Illness? Pain? Divorce? Loneliness? Fill in the blank...

 If you don't have the faith to accept your circumstances, I invite you to wrestle with the Lord like Jacob did in Genesis 32. He came out of that fight a little broken, yet filled with faith to face his greatest fear.

I came out of my struggle with the Lord, heart still broken, still grieving, yet filled with faith to face the rest of my life without my daughter--A life I never imagined I would face--but face it I have... all because of the gift of faith from God. And my faith is on a whole new level--deeper and stronger that it ever would have been had I not wrestled with the Lord.

Mary's Magnificat

I find it so interesting that Mary has just learned that she will give birth to the Savior of the World, and she doesn't have a laundry list of prayer requests for God. She must have had so many questions, so many fears. Her very life would be in danger for being pregnant out of wedlock.

"Lord, help Joseph to understand!" "God explain this to my parents and help them not to be mad at me!" "Lord, please don't let them stone me!" "Father, I am going to be raising the Savior of the World, please help me!"

But Mary's focus was not on herself. She asked for nothing. She wasn't worrying about what everyone else would think of her. She was willing to be scorned and misunderstood because she knew the truth. She didn't know the future... I'm sure there was much she didn't understand. She only knew that she served a magnificent God and she was willing to do whatever it took for Him to accomplish His plan.

Amazing. Oh, what we can learn from Mary.