Again "Be Still"

I have been holding on to Psalm 46:10 since last September. And today, I read in Nehemiah 8:11 those same words, “Be still.” At a time when the Israelites were filled with grief and regret over their sins and failures, the Levites calmed them and spoke grace to them. At a time when their failure was weighing heavy on their hearts, dragging them down emotionally, the Levites encouraged them to celebrate and rejoice in God’s goodness.

This speaks to me because I struggle with the what-ifs. Sometimes the grief and burden of past failures weigh me down and keep me from being who God wants me to be. There is a time for mourning and grieving and confessing. But today is not that day. I have mourned. I have grieved. I have confessed. So today I pick myself up, dust myself off and I

rejoice in the goodness of God, trusting Him to redeem my past failures and, yes, even my sin. And that is my unswerving hope.

Today I Cried

I have this situation in my life that has broken my heart for years. I feel like I have failed over and over. I just can’t get it right. The most important thing God has given me to do and I have failed miserably again and again. He keeps telling me to be still and know that he is God. That feels like such a cop out.

Today I confessed to him my lack of faith. I told him I feel like I’m slipping away—slipping in my faith. I confessed that I feel like my prayers do nothing. I keep praying and believing and nothing changes.

Wanting to find God in all these negative emotions, I turned again to Psalm 46. It was like I was reading it for the first time. Tears began to sting my eyes then run down my cheeks. I haven’t been able to cry over this situation for a very long time. I can't remember the last time I cried over it. Even as I have shared it with friends, they cry but I can’t.

My heart has been so broken so many times over this situation. It has hurt so long and so much that I feel like I have to harden it just to survive. But today, God sent me the gift of tears.

I feel a little relief—a little bit cleansed. It feels good to know that I still have the capacity to cry. But I also know that I will soon have to pick up all the pieces and tuck them all in. My precious little one will be awake soon, and will need to get ready for school.

But thank you, God, for a few minutes of closeness. Thank you for the tears.

Be Still!

Last Sunday night, we had a Night of Worship at our church. A man who I'll call John, and who is a mighty prayer warrior at our church, stood up and shared a scripture: Psalm 46:10. He read, "Be still and know that I am God. That means stop striving! This is a message for someone here tonight." I thought to myself, "huh, wonder who that's for."


The very next day, I received a disturbing, disheartening phone call. I cried out to God, "What do you want us to do?!" As those words came out of my mouth, I heard John's words in my mind, "Be still and know that I am God."

Later that day, I got a call from a dear friend who asked about my situation. I shared with her the disheartening call I had received. She said that she really felt that God didn't want us to "do" anything about this situation but trust Him--not in an inactive way--trusting God takes discipline and effort. But she said she really didn't think we were to "do" anything but rest in His faithfulness. When she finished, I had to tell her about my experience with Psalm 46:10 just hours before her phone call.

That was one week ago today. Last night, I tossed and turned, thinking about this situation, wishing there was something I could do. It hurts so much to stand by and watch a loved one struggle.

Guess what my devotional was this morning? Yep, Psalm 46:1-11.

Lord, teach me to stop striving and rest in You, trust in Your faithfulness. Teach me to actively "know that You are God."