Conflict and Failure: Friends or Foes?

Larry Crabb asks the question, "We see conflict and failure as our enemies. How might these instead be the context for discerning the real enemy from which God seeks to free us?"

I have avoided conflict my whole life. Sorry, Duck Dynasty, I coined the phrase, "Happy, happy, happy" long before anyone knew you! I just want everyone to be happy and get along. I can't stand tension. Left to myself, I will flee any conflict long before I'll seek to resolve it. The tension makes me crazy, tongue-tied and illogical. I get sucked into rabbit trails and argue insignificant details as i lose sight of the real issue at hand.

I also avoid failure. I often give up on projects for fear of failure. I want to quit my job at almost every new sermon series for fear of failure. I have started many more things than I have completed, i.e. college degree programs. I can count at least seven that I started and zero that I have completed.

How can I sue all that, plus my feelings of failing at the most important job in the world (parenting) to discern the real enemy from which God wants to free me? Fear, Selfishness, Pride, Envy, Jealousy, Laziness, Food Addiction, Religiosity, In-authenticity: These things in me must die! God will stop at nothing in His quest to make me holy. He stopped at nothing on His part in leaving Heaven and allow humanity to brutalize Him. And He will stop at nothing on my part. Even to the point of seeming distant and uncaring. God loves me too much to coddle me. He is preparing me for eternity with Him.

Lord, forgive me for seeking the lesser blessings rather than seeking holiness. Forgive me for being angry with You for not being my "Giant Santa in the Sky" by giving me everything I think I need. I submit myself to Your loving discipline as You use conflict and failure in my life to free me from the things in my life that would separate me from You. Thank You that You desire to allow me into Your presence more than You desire to bestow temporary relief from conflict and failure.

We All Need A Little Help Now and Then

I have an ongoing love affair with food. Food brings me comfort when I'm hurting, distraction when I don't want to deal with an issue, something to do when I'm bored, a way to celebrate when I've reached a goal and a way to connect with friends and family. It has also brought me an extra 30 pounds I don't need, high cholesterol and painful hip and knee joints. I guess you could say I have a love/hate relationship with food. And I know I'm not alone.

In my latest quest to conquer my distorted view of food and what it can and can't do for me, I joined Weight Watchers Online (again.) I decided to do a little more research this time than just the practices of tracking food and exercise points. I took their little quiz that's supposed to help you get to the bottom of your food addiction. I learned something that I have always known to be true, but try to ignore: I am not good at asking for help.

WW Online tells me that I need to learn to ask for help in managing my weight. It also tells me that I need to ask for help in other areas of my life. And if I do that, it will benefit me in this emotional battle I'm engaged in with my refrigerator and its contents!

Wow, I know I have trouble asking for help, but who knew that could be one of the causes for my struggle with food! It's really more about what's going on in my head and my heart than what I choose to put on my plate. In fact, maybe if I learn how to get beyond my pride and ask for help from my coworkers, family members and friends, I'll be able to have a healthier relationship with food. And who knows, maybe if I learn to really open myself up to God and ask for His help in dealing with my sins, my conflicts, my past, present and future, my hurts, my successes and my failures, maybe I won't need my comfort food at all!