What Are You Afraid Of?

What Are You Afraid Of?

I am not afraid of a lot of things…

I’m not afraid to change my hair color, and I do quite frequently.

I’m not afraid to wear red boots or carry a pink purse.

I’m not afraid to fly.

I’m not afraid to walk into a room full of people I don’t know.

I’m not usually afraid to try new things, and I love to learn new things!

I’m not afraid to drive in snow and ice (good thing since we’ve had plenty this year!)

I’m not even afraid to drive in California!

What I am afraid of is pain… physical, emotional, or any other kind of pain. I’m afraid of hurting and I’m afraid of being hurt. Unfortunately, I’ve done plenty of both.

From my fear of pain, come lots of little fears…

I’m afraid of confrontation.

I’m afraid of saying no.

I’m afraid of facing painful realities—I have a thick wall of protection around my heart.

I’m afraid of failing.

I’m afraid of disappointing others.

I’m afraid of facing painful realities—did I say that already? Yes I did, because it’s probably my biggest fear. I have said that I’m the Queen of Denial because I have so often stuck my head in the sand and denied reality. You would think I would have learned by now that all that does is create more pain, prolong the pain, intensify the pain.

So, in a few weeks, I am going to step up to my fear, take it by the horns, and with God’s help move just a little beyond it. This good little Polly Anna, Bible Study Girl is going on a mission trip. As I said, I’m not afraid to fly there, I’m not afraid to drive there. I’m not even feeling any fear of gangs or violence. What I fear the most is looking into the face of a homeless man and truly trying to understand him… truly loving him… truly accepting him… and sincerely and honestly praying for him. Even though I may see the eyes and feel the pain of someone I deeply love as I look at him, I will not shrink back. I will do it. With God’s help, I will do it.

So, what are you afraid of?

Is There a Light Board in Heaven?

My Bible study this morning asked the question, “What brings you joy?” One of my answers was, “Serving on a team.” I have the privilege of serving on several amazing teams that design worship and provide technical support for worship services.

One of those teams suffered a great loss this week. A very important member, a man who I believe shares my joy in serving on a team, has moved on, changed his address, met his Maker. For him “…the weather has cleared and the sun shines bright. He sees it all now, he sees it all as clearly as God sees us, knowing Him directly just as He knows us.” (1 Corinthians 13:12-13 MSG)

That’s an interesting analogy for a guy who had a passion for lights. Tom ran the light board for our worship services. He set it all up, and trained a team of people to run it. He had a passion for excellence and visual harmony. He paid attention to details, wanting every light setting to coordinate with the song backgrounds. He had a great sense of humor and was a joy to work with. He mentored the younger guys on the “guru team” as we call our technical servants. He connected with everyone who served in our media loft. It’s kind of like a family up there, and he played a big part in creating that little community. He will be greatly missed.

We don’t know what we’re going to do without Tom, but 1 Corinthians 13 continues on to tell us that, until the weather clears for us, we have three things to do, “Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly. And the best of the three is love.”

Hence, my question… Is there a light board in heaven? Do they have a “disco cross?” Because if they do, I know that Tom is right there, asking about the details, ensuring there is visual harmony and color coordination, and creating a little community within that great cloud of witnesses.

We love you, Tom and we miss you already. We’ll be here to walk this journey with Brenda and your boys and their families. Thanks for leaving us a legacy and shining the light for us all to see Jesus. We’ll do our best to follow in your footsteps!