I've never thought of myself as having an issue with pride--at least not for a long time. But is it possible to be prideful in your humility? Yeah, the instant I start recognizing and relishing any humility, it immediately vanishes. Poof! Gone. How are we to seek something that at the very moment we grasp it, we destroy it?
Oh, the elusiveness of humility and the deceitfulness of pride!
God started dealing with me on this through a book I read by Joanna Weaver called "Having a Mary Spirit." I came across this book by accident. Like I've done so many times, I received it through the book club because I didn't return the little card in time. Sometimes, the books I get that way are the ones I need the most. They are the ones I don't think apply to me, but God knows they do!
Anyway, I always thought I must be more of a Mary because I really hate housework and I'm not the greatest cook. But I'm beginning to realize that just because I'm not a domestic goddess doesn't mean I'm not a doer. So I connected with this book way more than I thought I would.
Back to the main point... One of the chapters in Joanna's book is all about pride. Again, not my issue, right? Wrong! The main thing that got my attention was "The Pride Test." I was shocked at how many of the symptoms I possess! I have been oblivious to my pride! Some of the symptoms of this deceitful character flaw are:
Being easily swayed by others' opinions
Getting huffy and defensive when criticized
Hungering for admiration and praise--wanting to be the center of attention (ouch!)
Making sure others notice good works and demanding credit
Self-indulgent; making personal comfort a priority
Easily offended
Responding to problems with self-pity
Obsessing over obvious failures (pow!)
Resenting responsibilities and the lack of peace that often accompanies them
Loving people who love her (as opposed to feeling God's heart toward all humanity)
There are more symptoms, but these are the ones that reverberated through my spirit. I've known they were issues for me, but I never associated them with the sin of pride! I thought obsessing over my obvious failures was a sign of humility or insecurity, not pride!
If you've read any of my previous posts, you probably recognized more of these symptoms in me than I would like.
Now I'm off to finish "The Prodigal God," by Timothy Keller. This little book is about the elder brother in the parable of the prodigal son. Oh, how that is resonating with me as well. The elder brother may have followed all the rules and looked good on the outside, but his heart was far from God and he was full of, you guessed it, PRIDE! God's work is never really done, is it?
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I would love to hear from you! Let me know what you think and how I can pray for you. Most of us are carrying some pretty heavy baggage and the good news is, you don't have to carry it alone! You can lay it at the feet of Jesus, and sometimes we need help just letting go of our baggage and not picking it up again. We're in this together!