I am writing today as a discipline. I am anxious to get moving. I have lots to do today and I want to get marching on my "To Do" list. But more than that, I want to stay true to my commitment to allow Jesus to sift through the junk in my heart and mind. I don't want to be "all about the task" today. I want to be "all about the relationship." So, here goes...
So I am supposed to be disillusioned with the people in my life? Really? Oswald Chambers says I must be... that it's a discipline... that if I'm not, I risk becoming "cynical, unkindly severe in my judgement of others." Ouch again, Oswald! You hit me where it hurts so often. Have you been living in my head? I try so hard to hide this kind of thing!
Chambers tells me that, "disillusionment which comes from God brings us to the place where we see men and women as they really are, and yet there is no cynicism, we have no stinging, bitter things to say." What a relief that would be for me as well as the people in my life! Chambers says that many of the cruel things in life spring from the fact that we suffer from illusions... our ideas of one another. It's like I have this picture in my head of what a person is or should be and when they don't live up to that image, I get hurt, angry, cynical, bitter. O.C. says it this way, "If we love a human being and do not love God, we demand of him every perfection and every rectitude, and when we do not get it we become cruel and vindictive; we are demanding from a human that which he or she cannot give." Ouch again! So when I don't suffer from disillusionment, it shows my lack of love for God. Ugh, just when I thought I was becoming a mature Christian!
"There is only One Being Who can satisfy the last aching abyss of the human heart and that is the Lord Jesus Christ," says Chambers. I can't expect my friends, coworkers, family members or even my dog to satisfy that deep dark emptiness in my soul. That is a space that only my savior can fill. And if He is not filling it, all my relationships will be out of balance.
"Our Lord trusted no man..." Wow, I'm to trust not one? Not like I trust Jesus. People can only walk so far with me. I can only trust them to a certain extent.
"...yet He was never suspicious, never bitter... he despaired of no one." If I trust God like I'm supposed to, allowing Him to fill my brokenness like only He can, I free the people in my life! I not longer hold them hostage by my expectations of them--my expectations of completeness. They cannot complete me. They come and go--sometimes they move away, sometimes they move on, and sometimes they die. Sometimes they're consumed with their own pain. They were not created to complete me. They were not created to affirm me. They were not created to fix me or make my life worthwhile. Every now and then those things happen, but they cannot be the foundation of my life. I cannot and must not depend on them for my everyday motivation.
Only Jesus can fill the gaping abyss in my soul. Only He can be my reason for living. Only He can be My Unswerving Hope.
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I would love to hear from you! Let me know what you think and how I can pray for you. Most of us are carrying some pretty heavy baggage and the good news is, you don't have to carry it alone! You can lay it at the feet of Jesus, and sometimes we need help just letting go of our baggage and not picking it up again. We're in this together!