Thursday, February 4, 2016

Wrestling with God
"May it be to me as You have said." --Luke 1:38
...the words of Mary when the angel told her that she would become the mother of the Messiah.

I don't pretend to have the faith that Mary had. I never want to compare myself to her. She was instantly ready to face a life that she never imagined--one that she never had planned--one with lots of false accusations and questions. Yet she didn't even hesitate.

When my daughter was killed instantly in a car accident, I wrestled with how I could ever get through it and how God could possibly have allowed it.

Until one day, faith rose up in me and said those words of Mary in my spirit. I was finally able to accept it... that my most precious gift was dead... and the God had allowed it.

I am in no way tooting my own horn. There is nothing good or strong or faithful in me except what Jesus brings. It is a total gift from God to be able to say those words... to accept the things in life that I never would have chosen... the things that I never ever thought I could survive.

Have you faced something that you just cannot accept? Has life dealt you blows that are so far out of your realm of all that is right? Have you lived through--or are you facing--something that is just wrong? Death? Abuse? Abandonment? Addiction? Loss? Illness? Pain? Divorce? Loneliness? Fill in the blank...

 If you don't have the faith to accept your circumstances, I invite you to wrestle with the Lord like Jacob did in Genesis 32. He came out of that fight a little broken, yet filled with faith to face his greatest fear.

I came out of my struggle with the Lord, heart still broken, still grieving, yet filled with faith to face the rest of my life without my daughter--A life I never imagined I would face--but face it I have... all because of the gift of faith from God. And my faith is on a whole new level--deeper and stronger that it ever would have been had I not wrestled with the Lord.

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I would love to hear from you! Let me know what you think and how I can pray for you. Most of us are carrying some pretty heavy baggage and the good news is, you don't have to carry it alone! You can lay it at the feet of Jesus, and sometimes we need help just letting go of our baggage and not picking it up again. We're in this together!