Monday, April 6, 2009

2008 - A Year of New Beginnings?

In January of 2008, I started the year with my usual optimistic view. The number 8 is considered by many to be a sign of new beginnings. God created the earth in 6 days and rested on the 7th. So the 8th day was a new beginning. Feeling led by God, I began proclaiming 2008 as "The Year of New Beginnings." I needed some new beginnings.

But the year went by and I saw a lot of "stuff" happen in my family. Some very negative events, or so they seemed. Sometime in November, I realized the year was almost over and I was seeing no new beginnings in my life. I saw lots of new beginnings for other people, but none for me. I stood up for a dear friend who was beginning a new marriage. I watched as several friends brought home new babies. But my situation was almost the same--maybe even worse. I began having a hard time feeling joy for them, even though I wanted to. I became jealous of them. I felt like God was taking care of them while leaving me alone in my grief. (See yesterday's post.)

As I hashed this out with God, I realized that maybe what I really wanted more than new beginnings was "happy endings." I love happy endings to books, TV shows and movies. What I really wanted were some happy endings in my life. But God continued to say, "Just wait. New beginnings are not as easy to see as happy endings." So I'll continue to wait and trust that the new beginnings that happened in 2008 will be revealed. Maybe in 2009, maybe not. But until they are, I'll wait... and trust and hope. God, grant me that unswerving hope!

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I would love to hear from you! Let me know what you think and how I can pray for you. Most of us are carrying some pretty heavy baggage and the good news is, you don't have to carry it alone! You can lay it at the feet of Jesus, and sometimes we need help just letting go of our baggage and not picking it up again. We're in this together!