Turning 50

I turned 50 yesterday. I wasn’t sure how I’d take this milestone, but so far 50’s not so bad!


The last big birthday party I had was ten years ago when I turned 40. Life is so different now from what it was then, but I don’t feel terribly different. The one way I have changed is that I’m more realistic about life. Circumstances have forced my head out of the sand and I can no longer swim in the river of denial. I still try every now and then, but the voice of experience tells me that it’s not worth it! Better to deal with life head on.

Now even though I am more realistic, and sometimes even a little cynical, I am not without hope! In fact, my faith runs much deeper than it did ten years ago. During that time, I have faced bigger challenges than I ever dreamed survivable. We went from being a busy family of four to abruptly becoming empty nesters, then back to the life of raising a young child! These major changes involved lots of grief and sorrow. And they changed me. My faith has been challenged again and again. Each test went a little bit deeper, and this faith that God has put in my heart has become stronger. Ten years ago, we were just getting a taste of real life, and I was trying to “live on the surface,” never believing that God would allow anything bad to happen to me and my family.

Now I know that life on planet earth involves suffering, but not without hope! I heard an elderly lady laughing in McDonald’s yesterday. Her laughter rang through the whole restaurant again and again. Now I’m pretty sure she hasn’t lived to the ripe old age of 70-something without living through times of grief. Yet she can produce laughter that is absolutely contagious! I want to be that lady some day. Laughter that has survived trials is the best kind of laughter. It comes from a deeper place than laughter that has lived on the surface of life. It is a healing kind of laughter—one that says, “I won’t let this life get me down! I have hope for the future! Hope that runs deeper and longer than life on planet earth. Hope that knows that, even when things aren’t fine, there is a reason to have joy… a reason to laugh!” And that is my Unswerving Hope—even more so at age 50!